


there's no love, and i'm feeling high

by advancingambition



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Arguments, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption, F/F, Hurt No Comfort, No S5 spoilers, and they were exes, oh my god they were exes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24265663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/advancingambition/pseuds/advancingambition
Summary: "it's complicated" doesn't even begin to cover it for these two
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	there's no love, and i'm feeling high

**Author's Note:**

> wrote 99% of this way before s5 dropped so it ended up way, way more angsty than s5 actually was. however, since i'm apparently a fucking masochist i decided to go ahead and finish it anyways. so if you'd like to imagine a catra redemption with a little (a lot) more hurt, please enjoy

“What are you so afraid of? Admitting that you still like me?” she said, shoving Adora back against the wall.

Adora looked shocked for a moment, eyes flashing, before her glare became flinty. She fixed her mouth with a grimace before flipping them, pinning Catra’s waist with her hips and holding her hands above her head. “You want to know what I’m afraid of, Catra? You really want to know?” said Adora, shoving Catra back even though there was nowhere for her to go.

Years of strife had built up to this. Years of her trying to be forgiving, trying to convince Catra that she didn’t feel superior, years of trying to make her see beyond her own ego. She was tired. So fucking tired.

“I’m afraid to stop resenting you. I’m afraid that if I let go of everything you’ve done to hurt me, everything about you that makes me mad, I won’t feel anything about you at all.” she readjusted her grip on Catra’s wrists, and looked her in the eyes. “I’m afraid that forgiving you will take more than I have left. I’m afraid that I gave you all the good in me when you still hated me, when you wouldn’t fucking take it, and that now I’m empty. I’m scared of admitting that I’m different than I used to be. I’m afraid fighting you took things from me that I can’t get back.” She closed her eyes, released her hold on Catra’s wrists, and rested her forehead on Catra’s shoulder.

“I’m afraid that in the end, it didn’t mean anything. The years we spent together.” Adora’s breath came in fast, like it was a struggle to speak. “I’m afraid if I stop resenting you, I’ll realize I don’t love you anymore.”

She let out a puff of air, and straightened up, stepping away from Catra.

“I don’t want to admit that I still need you, even if I don’t want you anymore. Because you’ve made it pretty fucking clear that you don’t love me anymore, that you hated me since you realized I wasn’t coming back to the Horde. You can’t fight me for years, tell me that I was the thing preventing you from succeeding, and then tell me you want me back. You can’t tell me you were glad I left and expect me to want to come back.”

Adora was shaking now, face flushed with emotion. Catra wanted to reach out, wanted to apologize for the first time in years, but Adora cut her off before she got the chance.

“You made it clear that you didn’t ever need me, but did you ever stop to think that I needed you?” her voice was almost hysterical. “Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and you were glad I was gone!”

Catra lurched foreward, pulling Adora down to eye level by her lapels. “I was lying, you idiot! What was I supposed to do, admit I missed you? Say I wanted you back? We were enemies!”

Adora removed Catra’s hands from her jacket, but didn’t push her away. She was shouting now. “What else were you lying about? You lied to me for years about how Shadow Weaver was treating you, and got mad at me for not knowing the truth. Even before I left, you were never open with me! How was I supposed to protect you if never told me what was wrong?”

“It wasn’t your job to protect me! You don’t always have to be the fucking hero, Adora!” Catra was screaming now.

“I don’t want to be the hero! I never wanted to be! I never thought you weren’t capable, still don’t. I wanted to protect you because seeing you hurting hurt me! Because I loved you. I’m afraid that I still love you, and that all you’ll ever do is push me away, because you want my rivalry more than you could ever stand my care.”

Catra was stunned. The realization that Adora had loved her too, all that time ago felt like a weight on her shoulders, like a leaden blanket with inescapable heat, like-

“You hate me for leaving, Catra, but all you’ve ever done is push me away. You resent me for caring and nag me for being cold, even though we fought for years! Decide what you’re willing to have before you demand me to tell you what I want.”

And then Adora let out a breath, cheecks flushed and eyebrows drawn. She met Catra’s eyes and turned, leaving her leaning against Bright Moon’s outer wall, alone, just like she always did.

Maybe, just like she always would.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you noelle for being too nice to give us pain. comments are always appreciated :)


End file.
